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My Day....

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Feb. 22nd, 2011 | 08:59 pm

A cousin of mine recently commented on how much she wanted to come visit us on the farm...Here is my response...

"Visitors are required to help out with the animals. And before you book that ticket, remember it is primitive living here until the house is done. And to further entice you...let me give you an idea of what my day was like this past Sunday......

I got up late (8:30 am) because I spent all night feeding, watering and giving the bunnies hay. Until 2 am. Then I was awoken over and over because there were coyotes and deer and skunks and whatever else the dogs felt like barking at - all night long!

Then once I was up, I had to feed the chickens and the turkeys. And the baby ducks and geese. And the goats. And the llamas. Plus the dogs and the cats.

First I go visit the chickens. Who immediately start fighting - just because they can. Our poor hens are getting mangled by the roosters who are in "overdrive". I'm going to have to build another chicken pen just to house the "battered hens and chicks"... As I enter the pen, four frantic hens fly up and try landing on my shoulders... "Save us from those terrible roosters!"

One scratches my face with her claws. Another one pecks my glasses. Finally one poops on my leg.

In the chicken pen there is a rooster that has gotten hurt - either by another rooster, or in the frantic scrambling or maybe by one of the dogs, because a couple of the chickens got out the other day and he may have been one of them. He's now crippled, hopefully only temporarily. I have to carry him around to give him food and water. He thanks me by pooping down my leg. Great. Matching legs.

After I feed the chickens, I go to feed the turkeys. Mr. President (the tom) is freaking out because The First Lady Dolly is sitting on ten turkey eggs. So he tries to attack me. Except that he's a coward. So he waits until my back is turned. Luckily he's too chicken to actually touch me. But little Jimmy Duranti, the banty rooster in the pen with him, is not so scared. He tries to spur me. He rips my pants leg.

Next I got to get the mail, which means walking past the goat and llama pen. I can't leave the hurt rooster in the chicken pen because the others will kill him given the chance. And I don't have anywhere safe to put him yet. So I'm carrying him around until I figure out what to do with him.

As I pass the llamas and goats, they come running. Sweet little baby goats bouncing and bucking, the adult goats acting like kids. Very cute, very sweet. Until I keep on walking past their pen. Yes, they thought I was coming to feed them. But see, I'm going to get the mail. So I walk the half mile to the mailbox and there's no mail. Okay. That's okay. Back to the llamas and goats to finally feed them. But I am still carrying the dumb rooster. So I put him down on top of one of the feed bins and fill the buckets with llama food, because you have to feed Merry and George first. I take the food over to Merry because she's first in line and as I'm pouring the food into her bucket, she looks me dead in the eye and SPITS. Now, I have been saying for months that my llamas don't spit at people. They only spit at other llamas. Merry spit at me dead in the eyes. Luckily I'm wearing glasses but jeez - llama spits STINKS really, really bad. (I mean, REALLY, REALLY BAD.)

Okay - summary so far...
  • Two pants legs with chicken shit.
  • One torn pants leg from cocky little rooster who thinks he is a turkey.
  • One hurt rooster sitting on top of the feed bin and
  • Nasty, smelly llama spit in my face and all down the front of my shirt.

Today is going very well so far...

I go back to dishing out feed and Merry spits at me again. TWICE now she has spit at me so I can't say she just coughed or something.   Merry is not feeling very merry towards me today... I can barely see because the stench is so bad that it's making my eyes water.  Then as I'm feeding the goats, I get knocked down by the herd. This is not only painful but humiliating, esp. with 20 or so goats, the llamas, one hurt rooster and five dogs looking on. The dogs hide their faces in shame.

Finally to cap things off, I finish feeding the goats and llamas, take the rooster to the house to fix up a bin to keep him in and I let the ducks and geese out to eat and drink. This is a very messy job, so I'm looking forward to my shower after I finish these chores.  But oh no! The shower is busted and the water is ICE COLD. There's no hot water... I sit down and almost cry, except that while I'm trying to work up a big primal scream, I get a big mouthful of dog tongue. Oh gross! Now my day is complete.

Still wanna come visit???"

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